Use your discretion surely!

Yes thats right folks, its been just two days since my last blog post and I'm back already. This time for a right good rant. I just popped to the local shops to pick up a few things (thread, ribbon and some light bulbs incase anyone cares). I nipped into the Tesco's local to get the bulbs but I don't really like going in there because the security guard has delusions of grandeur. I suspect he's watched too many episodes of T J Hooker or Poirot and he takes one look at my dreads and tattoos and then proceeds to follow me round the store. He's a short asian guy with a shaved head and an obvious Napolean complex. Frankly if we're going to judge on appearances he looks far shadier than me.

Anyway, as I stood deliberating over wattage a little old lady walked past me with her raincoat on and doesn't he come up to her and ask her to take her hood down. I mean REALLY??? Ok I get it if a group of teenage lads come in, hands shoved in pockets smelling of shandy, but a little old lady?? She was deeply offended and wandered off muttering about how she'd never stolen anything in her life and I don't blame her. I kinda hope she decided to rebel and pocketed a chocolate santa on her way out of the store.

Now I'm sure that Tesco would defend their employees actions with some waffle about security but I think they need to employ people with enough braincells to use some kind of discretion. I also find myself wandering if he would have asked someone wearing a bhurka to remove that. I highly doubt it and then I hover over the delete key for even typing it because that isn't me being racist. I don't agree with the bhurka at all but we'll save that for a day when I'm blogging about atheism and feminism. But it's my frikkin blog and the question is there so I'm voicing it. And if he wouldn't, if he could use his discretion in that instance then why not use it here, or, alternatively is this mini Hitler also going around chasing Muslim women out of Tesco's?

That being said I now recall the story of another branch of Tesco's in my fair city where a woman was asked for ID whilst buying a quiche. Nuff said!

So maybe this is just for me

Ok so I officially suck at blogging. I originally started a blog because I have an internet business and I guess I liked the idea of using it as a promotional tool. You know - buy clothes from me and you too can have an awesome and glamourous life like mine. The problem with that idea is that really my life isn't that awesome. It certainly isn't glamourous and whilst I was tempted to pretend that I wander round my amazing workroom all dolled up, drinking cocktails and making party frocks, that just couldn't be further from the truth, and I hate bull shitters. Usually my workroom looks like something exploded in it, I'm wandering round in my comfy pyjamas and I'm pouring as much diet coke into my face as I can in order to stay awake, while I attempt to finish the ridiculous and unrealistic list of tasks I've set myself and periodically have to phone my best friend Tara for pep talks when I'm convinced that it will all go to hell and I'll have to go and work in a supermarket. Insecure and disorganised describe me far better than glamourous and awesome!!

The other day, however, it occurred to me that probably nobody reads this anyway so surely rather than use it as a promotional tool it would be much more useful to use it as a forum to vent and discuss my own problems with myself. Sure the chances are I'm going to mention on twitter that I blogged but the only time people tend to comment on any of my blogs (or read them for that matter) is if I've promoted their crafts so essentially this is the equivalent of going somewhere where there are no people and screaming as loud as I can. I've always found writing down your frustrations is a good way to relieve the stress of them so that is what I'm going to do. As and when I need to. No pressure now to amuse other people or promote a false image. What a relief.

Today is all about getting my shit together. Christmas is looming and being self employed at this time of year is terrifying. If I'm not worrying about how I will be able to afford the mountain of presents my 8 year wants then I'm stressing about how awful my sales will be in January. Essentially, my life at the minute moves from one money worry to the next. I've needed to visit the dentist for over 3 months and the only pair of jeans I have are a paint covered hand me down pair. It's pretty tragic but there is always a bill to pay, food cupboards to fill, money that needs to be handed in at the school, someones birthday. It's depressing to work a 14 hour day (I frequently do this) and have nothing to show for it personally. I know I'm not the only one in this boat but that isn't that comforting. Also since moving in with my partner, although he puts more money into our joint account in real terms, proportionally I put in pretty much everything I make while he puts in about 70% and has a fair amount of free money each month. That being said the highlight of today will be that he is going to buy us a dryer. Woooooo. This means I can finally wash the piles of clothes I haven't been able to wash for weeks because I can't get them dry. Oh wait, that just means on top of everything else I have to do this weekend I also get to do 15 loads of washing!! Pah, and I said my life wasn't glamourous!

So anyway, where was I? Yeah, that's right. Getting my shit together. I have a whole heap of orders to get out and photos to take and some stuff to list and I need to start making and listing my Christmas stuff because this month I need to basically make two months worth of money. Its 8am and I'm hoping by 12 to have a few parcels out and some necklaces poured and to at least have sat down at the sewing machine and started ploughing into the mountain of work (I kind of have sewers block at the minute). I could go on here for another hour. I could easily moan about customers who drive me nuts with the crummy way some of them speak to me or whine about how my partner never cleans the litter box but instead I'm gonna get off my arse and make things a bit better. I am. I swears. See you soon (or not)